How about we stop waiting for someone else to make us whole?

I say this from the comfort of a relationship that I have never doubted, but I do not think that makes anything I say less true. I am not exaggerating when I say that almost every day I hear from girls who have never been kissed, girls who have loved and lost, girls who just don’t know if anyone will ever be as good as their ex, and all they can think about is what they’re doing wrong. We treat being alone as if it is loneliness, and there is no need. Furthermore, we think that there might actually be something wrong with us for being alone, as if everyone is joined with a Siamese twin attached at the heart that you just have to find somewhere. We change ourselves to solve our solitude. I don’t understand why. I have been there, and I do comprehend crying because there must be something wrong with your body if no one seems to want to hold it. I get listing off your favourite books and only including what is generally accepted as gender neutral. I’ve held my tongue so many times I almost bit it off so I would not make other people think that I was one of those scary, politically active women who might actually have hopes and dreams and goals and power. If there is one thing I have learned from the past two years, it is that all of these are wrong.

Love is great & natural. I am not preaching to lay low and wait until the perfect person walks into your life, because why wait? Waiting means you are occupying your time. You are wasting one of the only things in this universe that you can’t get back by filling your days doing something that is anything less than what you love. Being whole is accepting a partner as a condition, not a guarantee, and then not thinking about it… at least too much. No one else will fill any void in you. It is just a convenient way to explain to yourself why you are sad. You’re upset with life because you need something else. Chances are this something else is faith, not a partner.

You will always have regrets, but for some women especially are led to believe that their only real regret is loneliness. There are days when my heart pangs that I chose a smaller school instead of the more traditional, prestigious institutions of learning with brick walls that you see on the cover of People Who Made the Right Decisions Magazine. I frequently question why I haven’t left Halifax long ago, as much as I feel a strange sense of belonging here. I regret that I listened to my mother too much. I regret that I didn’t listen to my mother enough. I regret getting the wrong shade of nail polish. I regret quickly demolishing two croissants. Regret is inevitable; thrive because of it. Channeling all of your pain into the lack of presence of one person is a modern day fairy tale.

Instead, stand in the wind. Visit the ocean; there’s wind there! Go to art supplies stores and pick out richly patterned and textured sheets of paper to cover your walls. Learn how to do your hair in a signature way. Practice your written signature. Get rid of the books you don’t love and don’t read. Buy more books that you think will change your life. Write more, type less. Take another class. Learn another language. Join the Always Something Free Rice group. (Eh? Eh?) Own a pair of rain boots you’re actually happy to wear. Stay up until four am when the world is at its loneliest and decide you feel okay. Go on walks. Just walks. Treat every bus ride as an urban adventure. Get mad at corporate America, just for fun. Take road trips. Read every book ever written by one author. Write manifestos. Do what you can every day. Wear more lipstick.

Just ‘dealing’ with being single is settling for a second rate life. Physically throwing yourself out of bed every morning will not get you the completion you're looking for. Although right now it may seem like no one will ever hold you, even in a relationship you will not be happy until you can hold yourself. Take a deep breath & shake off the notion that adequacy is determined by companionship. As long as you are friends with yourself, you are never alone.

***
Hey Melissa, this is for you! xxxo
Next week I'll feature Katie's manifesto on waiting for perfection.

10 Things to do to learn a second language

Bilingualism is something that frequently gets forgotten in a world that is crying for social justice. After all, with eating disorders and famines and children who can barely read their own language, how can we demand them to learn another? This twisted logic has contributed to the downfall of our education system. When we are struggling, we should demand more, not less. It is when we have problems that we need the most help. Maybe children would have stronger reading skills if it was about more than adding letters together to make some illogical sound. Maybe an appreciation of unique culture would be motivation to travel there. Maybe seeing how they do things elsewhere would revolutionize here. Isonationalism didn't work, and in an age where we can connect & hear everyone's voice, there's no reason we shouldn't. This means we have to understand what they're saying.

Quebec is Canada’s cousin who comes to holiday dinner, slouches when she sits even though she’s wearing Louboutins, and is just doing better than you in every way. While you are working a steady 9 to 5 and saving your for investment, Quebec has gone to Thailand, landed an amazing agency job despite taking a few years off school, and fed the homeless while she was at it. She’s musing about if she’ll find the time to revolt against corporate greed between her African cooking class and her nightly hot yoga session. Your mother insists she loves you all equally, but you see the way she admires Quebec. You loudly talk with your father about how he has to stop giving her money, about how she has to pull her weight just like everyone else. He holds up his hand, and sighs, “We almost lost her once.”

Separatism was the red scare of Canada. Sure, we hated those ambiguously ethnicitied commies just like everyone else, but we had to keep Quebec in line! After we tried to teach them how to speak English, they wanted to separate! Can you imagine?

As Canadians, we are on the brink of change and greatness. We can rise, or we can fall, and it is terrifying. Our country is both revolutionary worker programs progressive and down home biscuits traditional. We’re not some copy of anywhere else. We have no laws on abortion. None. We’re talking about euthanasia, and it’s a real discussion. We’re redefined words. Our government currently looks more like an underdog story than Rocky Balboa. Oh, and we’re bilingual.

Bilingualism remains highly politicized, as if knowing more than one tongue is a sham to appease French Canadians. Although we are growing and better understanding what a multifaceted framework can be, we still have politicians who think it is acceptable not to know both official languages. Being able to communicate with the country you are supposed to represent should not be a last minute demographic grab; it should be your daily ambition.  

Maybe you didn’t like the face I gave Quebec in my first paragraph. Maybe you think I made her too lofty, or that I pandered to a stereotype. You’re right. Quebec doesn’t have a face anymore, and never did. Quebec has millions of faces, just like the rest of Canada, who want their own culture represented. So it’s high time we realized that being able to speak French isn’t about Quebec. In the great scope of the history of the language, French isn’t about separatism.  Being bilingual in Canada has a deep rooted heritage goes far beyond one province. This beautiful opportunity needs to be taken advantage of.

***

10 Ways to Learn a Second Language

(This is certainly directed speaking French, but more than adaptable to any situation.)

-Read good children’s books! You will not start off able to comprehend Sartre. Get the image of simplistic plots and simple characters out of the way; many are written to have a double entendre (See what I did there?) and deeper meanings. Le Petit Prince is a beautiful existential crisis about the meaning of love that you can read in grade two or at eighty two. It is one of my favourite books ever.

-Look up expressions as they do not translate as well. Translation is not the same as adaptation, so to truly speak a language you cannot use a dictionary word for word. Listen to people speak. Ask questions about what they actually mean. We all know “the cat’s meow” has nothing to do with felines.

-Change your social media settings to another language. The posts, e-mails, and etc. will obviously still be in whatever language your friends speak, but everything else will help you pick up little words that are important for every day conversation but not frequently taught.

-Download an app or read an instruction manual in French. Prose is one thing, but actual directions are another. Frequently, photos and arrows will help you learn. Also, it can’t hurt your self esteem!

-Many young women flock over the Cherry Blossom girl, but I'm going to suggest le dans la as the ultimate pretty images with a bit of writing at the end blog. Swoon away.

-Write love letters in other languages! This will help you be creative instead of using cookie cutter sentences. True love can’t be pieced together by freetranslation.com.

-Use a different culture’s cookbook. The food will likely be more authentic, and the photos will help guide you along. Besides, doesn’t the temptation of food make it worthwhile?

-If you have the money, THIS. If not, well, I still think these videos are so lovely. LIVE THE LANGUAGE.

-Visit immigration hot spots in your neighborhood, especially at restaurants, where you have to pronounce the food. Ask for help and say it correctly. It can help you identify common sounds like ae and oi and ou. Although none are universal, many European languages all share czy and ts and other daunting letter alignments.

-Pronounce everyone's last name as they like it to be pronounced, even if you have to graciously e-mail them before the event/etc to ask for help. I’m sure they won’t mind, you’ll wrap your tongue around a new sound, and you won’t look like an inconsiderate jerk, which is much more important. This only kind of actually helps your language abilities, but I thought I would  include it because for some reason many people around me seem to think mispronouncing a name is okay as long as you laugh “at your stupidity” and insincerely apologies after. This really isn’t the case. Your should be embarrassed of your ignorance if you have had time to prepare ahead, which usually you will.

-Finally, and eleventh (shh!), reading awe inspiring works of great authors in your native language will make you realize how much more you would get out of the book if you were to read their ideas as they penned them. Authors choose words with beauty & purpose. Although many translators excel at their job, you know how to play the game of telephone. As ideas are whispered through people’s ears, the original meaning is changed and lost. As you take a step back to admire what people were actually thinking, maybe ideas of your own will flourish.   



Healthy is not Enough

I’ve hated my body for about twelve years. I am not healthy.

I only took a few minutes to myself to sit by Lake Ainselie and actually reflect before scurrying back to make some memories with my family. Reflection is good, but eventually leads to promises that something will change. When you actually take an honest, scary second to think about your life, the negative things usually come first, and you focus so much on resolving to work them out that you can miss what they actually mean.

I was eight both the first time I called myself a feminist, and the first time I cried because my stomach stuck out. Long before logic had formed in my head, images of what was worth being had. My mixed ideologies meant I would be a modern, working woman who was empowered, but I would also be thin and lovely. Looking at pictures of Natalie Portman gave me no answers, but loads of inspiration. Uncoordinated and thus unatheletic, I spent many of my teenage years hungry.

I have always been angry at societal norms that made me hate myself, but for the first time, I became panicked. I stared into the cold depths of a famous lake where vogue politicians of the past took their families to summer and imagined coming back in warmer months, only to realize that I could never allow myself to be in a bathing suit around other people. I always saw the shame for the body I mistreat, but am forced to wear, as some kind of teenage shenanigan that I could grow out of. I am twenty one, and I don’t see a fixed end in sight. Through literal thick and thin I have cried after looking in the mirror no matter what I did to myself. Although my sweaty nights crouched next to a toilet are over, I walk with a silent inferiority complex that is always criticizing myself. Is this all we can aspire for young women? Will we fix the ventricles by pumping in vitamins but never actually repair our Hearts?

For all of the positivity and charm of self help books, there is no step by step guide to loving yourself. Take a bath! the Internet tells me when I am feeling bad, as if I will dip in the tub and emerge with perfect hip bones. Develop a mantra. Kiss yourself in the mirror. Certainly, improving my mood helps, but there is no revolution in my heart. It seems like instead of true self love, we are just aiming for cheering ourselves up and pulling us into tomorrow.

I am so lucky. My everloving holds the whole me; touching my body and he fires enough compliments to try to get through the main wall in my mind. He cooks me delicious dinners and I eat enough and more but not too much. He understands that sometimes I cry. He says that I am perfect, and it is an exciting relief to be enough for him, but it is not enough for me yet. It has almost become more about the philosophy of perfection then ever actually attaining it. I have been thin. Very thin. Too thin. It was then that I was unhappiest of all.

When I turned 20, I decided to stop hating myself. I don’t know how, and I wish I remembered. I do not know if I can repeat the lost steps over and over until it turns into self love, or if this is my sign to move any way as long as it’s forwards. But I am not interested in myself any longer.

You are reading thing, and I thank you, but I need something else from you. I am fed up of cautionary tales. I don’t want to undo steps. I am tire of having to progress to zero before I can even start to feel happy with who I am. I want you to start caring, and not just the type of caring that is painful but convenient. I need you to let out who you are inside. I know how angry we all are at letting people trick us into anything less than excellent, so why on Earth would we allow this to happen to girls?

Create a relationship with the next generation. It is never too early to start thinking about what the future needs, and I can promise you that it needs more love. There is too little time and too much to do for another fleet of young women to be sent into the world full of self doubt. We can’t stop global warming if we are always hungry. Injustice will prevail if we are not strong enough to stand up, both mentally and physically.

The older version of me needed you to read her a book, to think critically with her, to go on a walk around town, to take funny pictures, to show her what I am now saying with better words. It’s too late, and that’s okay, because there are so many other girls who need to start at the beginning, not attempt to climb back up after they’re already started at a loss. Whether reading this is enough or you need to go have a lake moment of your own, I only ask that you no longer suffer in silence.

Channel you anger into a passionate thought revolution and we can be stronger than any advertising campaign. Although the media is always shouting at young women, if you take the time to stand beside her, your voice and values will always be louder.

10 Easy Ways to Fight Apathy Without Really Moving

I haven't organized a protest in  a while, but that doesn't mean I don't care.

I think when it comes to being involved in your community, especially as youth, there is a certain fear that if you do not make a huge commitment you are not a good enough person. We grow up in an age of under valued organizations that show us excellent role models who do it all, but then first out after a few years. I'm going to tell you what most people won't: do what you can, & do a little of it, & do it very, very well.

Connections aren’t the same as they used to be. We are aware of others' suffering, and we know it is inconvenient. I make no sweeping assumptions, but I think it's fair to say that we've lost a lot of a sense of community, even amongst our friends. We have no excuse; we hardly communicate with the three hundred plus people we are friends with on Facebook despite knowing everything about them. Don't mistake this article for something applauding slacktivism; quite oppositely, I think so many of us are so confused that they don't even know how to really start caring again.

Start here, and go from here. I am telling you how to begin, which is sometimes the hardest part. Whatever you do, just don't let them tell you it can't be done.

***

10 Things:

-Caring doesn’t always have to be ‘activism’ based. You may not be able to put ‘a good friend’ on your college application, but mental illness affects over 20% of Canadians, and all of just have rough days from time to time. Don’t you feel special when you’re going through a hard time and someone reaches out to you? When talking to a friend who’s experiencing a hard go, make sure you write down in your calendar to talk to her later. Even if she’s feeling better, she’ll appreciate that you were thinking about her & concerned about how she’s feeling.

-With many modern lamps, you can have three turned on and still use less electricity than an overhead light, if you really feel you need that much light! Besides, your apartment will look so much cooler! Nothing shining above your head will ever compete with the sun, so why bother trying?

-There are posters absolutely everywhere, and getting your cause noticed goes beyond having good graphic design. Put pamphlets in the washrooms of local businesses! Seriously, do it! I would really rather not go into detail, but I can guarantee more people will read it. Just make sure the stories you’re telling are more inspirational than heart wrenching... or gut wrenching… Bonus points: If you put a huge poster literally across from the toilet. Why yes, I am a genius. A sick, sick genius.

-Put your professional skills to use. All volunteers are great, but having a more unique gift to give can make you invaluable to an organization. Maybe they need someone to work with their spreadsheets, an amateur dj to give them on-air shout out, or a graphically minded person to make their logo a bit more modern. Pitch your ideas; they won’t know what you can or are willing to do until you offer. I can’t make time commitments, but I can write press releases at 3 am, and that’s the kind of volunteering that works for me in busier months.

-Fact check fact check fact check. All of the volunteering in the world won’t rectify a bad argument or debate you have with one individual. I know we love talking about what we care about, so make sure you do it right! I’m preparing a major eating overhaul after reading some really gross stories about modern food, and I’ve discovered that a lot of things, like eggs, are actually cheaper at the Halifax Farmer’s Market than at major grocery stores, contrary to what people say.

-Pay with your remote, your social media, and your mouth. It’s one thing to be outraged about a topic that matters to you, but I jokingly refer to Sarah Palin as She Who will not be Named. Everyone will always have differing opinion on politicians, and you should never mistake snark for activism. If that’s what you enjoy doing, great, but giving your attention to news sites you think are too biased, buying into punditry, and promoting idiots, even in a negative light, results in more clicks on their webpage, which feeds directly into their pocket books.

-Take a nontraditional approach to donating. A few winters ago I donated an unused manicure set that I got for Christmas to a woman’s shelter. I know bundling everything up and throwing it at Value Village may be easy, but they’re making a lot of money off what you give them, especially now that they’re owned by ... uh... someone! Of course, certain charities may not want what you have to give, but at least inquiring could mean a manicure for a woman who’s never been able to afford one.

-Don’t be wasteful. I know you’re not drinking bottled water any more, and you’ve probably been told to use a reusable bag so many times you want to choke me for even mentioning it.  But do you, like me, have an affinity for brightly coloured paper napkins? I also jam leftovers into zipper plastic sacks in a rush in the morning. There are cloth napkins that are easily washable. These fabric reusable bags are adorable. I need to start carrying a Thermos. Study your habits & adapt.

-Sign up for an MP’s mailing list RIGHT NOW. This is better than "liking" a page on Facebook or anything of the sort because literally every single event goes into their mailing list. This has been true for the three politicians who's information I receive. Because I usually volunteer at events, I am considered somewhat of a "regular" despite only helping every few months. Usually, I hand out beer at fundraiser. That's it. I hand out beer. BUT I AM THE BEST BEER HANDER-OUTER OUT THERE. 

-Join the Always Something freerice.com! I know it seems very small, but by being in our group & playing for five minutes a day, you can see some extraordinary results! And, my knowing obscure 1800s authors & semi random words has never been better. And, we can talk & chill &... just do it. It will be great, & together we'll change the world. Because you want to change the world right? Right.

Because if you didn't, you wouldn't be here.

Good first step.

Embracing Monday

Frequently, you will notice that I address major issues and controversial topics a few weeks after it seems that they have passed. Or perhaps you have read an article about my involvement in something, only to notice that when the issue is broached on the news again, I am mute. No, it is not that I have an incredibly ill sense of timing, or that I take on the goal of supporting something lightly, but more that if something is in the news, chances are someone else will have said it more eloquently, more cleverly, and more share worthy, so why wouldn't I direct you to their interesting article instead?

Although my collection of Monday links may always seem a little random, that's largely because I am as well.

- A remarkable look into how our country works, and a fight for what Canada "really" believes in. I also find all of the anti Quebecois comments very interesting. We're at an important point in our country's history right now...

-Whether you upload a regular photo from your collection or preexisting pattern, you will be entertained!

-This is a robot test. If your day isn't made, you're a robot. 

-You know those code games you played as a child? Grown up version. 

- I was making a sign for work's kitchen, & typed in 'bagel face' expecting cartoon. I did not expect this.

- There are many places I would like to travel, and what is at the top of the list is always changing. For now, because of this video, it is Iceland.

-This is probably the most amazing question ever asked to an advice columnist. It involves Russian hats.

-Requisite crush for all Canadians (male or female) interviews KERMIT the FROG. Swoon.

-Bad words, good intentions.

- Be inspired how to dress for work & laugh each time? Yes, thank you, yes.

What it's Like to Be a freelancing graphic designer

Internet cool girl Andrea MacDonald made some time to talk to me recently. And I literally mean made time. Between a full time job, a successful freelancing career, completely re-doing her apartment, and redditing like nobody's business, she somehow managed to dish what it was like to take the scary plunge into working for yourself. Everyone tells you that a strong passion is enough to get by, and judging by her successful new career and portfolio of happy clients, Andrea would agree, but it takes a lot more. Dedication, modern Internet street smarts, a strong social network, and just being generally awesome seem to be what has launched her into the remarkable career she is creating. Eager to inspire others who may be more on the fence about doing their careers themselves, Andrea was kind enough to walk me through how she became the fire cracker she is today.

*** 

How did you get involved in graphic design? What made you decide you wanted to pursue a career in it?

To be honest, I don’t exactly remember when I first got involved in graphic design. I remember being on Piczo websites (remember those doozies?) at a young age, and had a blast making them. I then went from Piczo to FrontPage and designed some actual websites on that. (None were ever published, thankfully!) I was introduced to Fireworks by my brother-in-law when I was in grade eight, so that sparked my interest in creating graphics. It wasn’t until high school that I got really into design. I was introduced to Mac computers & the Adobe Suite by one of my teachers (thanks, Stub!) and from there I began teaching myself the in and outs of Photoshop and InDesign.

I think I did every poster for every event in my high school from grade ten and up. It wasn’t until grade twelve that I started to seriously think about a career in the field. I always thought I was going to be an English teacher. Thanks to the resources at my high school, and the fun I had doing graphic design, it became my passion and decided to do my postsecondary at the Centre for Arts and Technology in Halifax.

Describe your overall aesthetic.

Hmm. I think that since I’m a new designer, I’m still trying to define my ‘style,' I look at things and I’m like, "Whoa, that’s really cool!" It could be a very minimalist design, or the complete opposite. I seem to always be attracted to bright, fun colors when I design. I love playing with shapes, patterns and I’m not afraid of color. I want design to be limitless, with limitations. (Does that make sense? Probably not.) I’m inspired somehow by everything around me, good or bad. Whether I’m driving somewhere and I see a sign, or walking down the street and see someone’s shirt, inspiration is everywhere! It comes in different forms depending on the designer.

You recently started freelancing. What inspired that decision? What’s the best thing about it? What’s the worst?

Freelancing is something that was really foreign to me until I was finishing up school. After I was done, that’s what I did until I found a full time job. It’s fun because you get to meet a variety of people that introduce challenges that can push you as a designer. You never really know what to expect.

The hard part about freelancing (especially as a new designer) is getting clients. When you’re just starting out, you usually don’t have a lot of variety in your portfolio, nor do you have the experience to deal with clients. It’s something you just have to learn on your own. You definitely learn from your mistakes and it gets easier with each new client.

Time management is another hard thing. The more clients you get, the harder it is to stay organized. Being organized is crucial if you’re going to be a successful freelancer!

Do you have any advice for budgeting as a starting freelancer?

Budgeting was definitely a huge hurdle for me. As a junior designer, I had a tendency to charge way less than I should have. It’s the mentality that the work is ‘good enough’ and therefore I shouldn’t be charging a lot. This is harmful because you’re selling yourself short, and getting a reputation as a cheap designer. There are a lot of factors that come in to play when you’re deciding on budgets. (There are a lot of great articles out there!) Whether you want to work on a fixed price or hourly rate, time, revisions, etc., plan it all out, and stick to it! Don’t under price your work! People are paying for a service they can’t provide, and they chose you do to it. That means something!

Tell us about your job. Who are some neat people you have worked for?

Well, I just started a new job (full time) at a Marketing Solutions company. I’m a Graphic and Marketing Specialist there, but I continue to do freelance on the side.  What's great about being a graphic designer in general is the people that you meet. There are so many different ways to network, and through these so many opportunities rise. Social media plays such an important role when it comes to the graphic design industry, so being a ‘social butterfly’ is extremely beneficial to any up and coming designer. I think it’s really cool when people call or email me and are like, ‘I found you on (Google/Twitter/Some other website) and I really like your stuff...’ It goes to show how important having a presence on the internet is. I always get a sense of accomplishment, because of all the portfolios they may have looked at, they really like mine. Always a compliment!

What’s it like to be a woman working with computers? Do you find most of your peers are male, or is it more even in your field now?

I don’t know if it’s just me being paranoid/silly, or if it’s actually the case – but I always feel like I’m treated differently because I’m a woman that works in a male-dominated industry. I always feel like they don’t think I know what I’m doing/talking about. Then I totally break out a can of whoopass and show them how talented/awesome I am. (I may be exaggerating a little bit.) (A's note: she's not. She has a can of whoopass.)  BUT I do always prove myself. I may come across as someone who you wouldn’t think would be in this field, but I love it. I love everything about computers! I watch nerdy tech conferences and TV shows. I’m a Redditor. I’d rather buy an iMac than groceries. I love being a woman in an industry with mostly males. I tend to stand out and surprise people, which is really satisfying.

A lot of people have been signging your praises lately. Who?

A few months ago (April-ish) I was featured on cssmania.com, which is pretty cool. It is a website that showcases fresh, new website designs. From that, I was featured on a number of design blogs, and my website/myself were featured on some lists, such as topdesignmag.com’s list of '20 Superior Web Design Agencies or Freelancers Websites.'

Andrea's top 5 sites for inspiration are

-society6

-pinterest

-foodgawker

-craftgawker

-stumbleupon

You can send Andrea love notes & money in exchange for improved aesthetic at her website (where all of these images are from.) You can ask her questions & tell her she rocks via Twitter. You can oogle her life here.

The 10 things I know about picking out a good neighbourhood

I liked hardwood floors, lots of sunlight, and a landlord who would let us paint the place reasonable colours. Luke wanted a building where he could occasionally yell at the television when his teams weren’t doing so well. However, there was one thing that neither of us was willing to compromise on, and that was a good neighbourhood.

Get your head of of boxy, plastic siding, and sprawl. Good doesn’t mean the prepackaged image of little children running across ample lawns! I know "good neighbourhood" is definitely something your parents would tell you to care about before right before trashing the sketchy bar you love being next to right before they tell you to get that metal thing off of your face before they rip it out but still, their heart is in the right place. They have a point.

Most students I know tend to ignore neighbourhoods. Half my friends don’t understand why I don’t live in the student sprawl where groceries are a twenty minute walk away but liquor, school, and pricey convenience stores are right there! The others insist that if I saved money by living in the suburbs I could afford a car! And that car would get me into the city so it just makes sense right! Right!!!! RIGHT?

Determined to avoid both people running down my street yelling obscenities at 3 am and a gas consumption dependance, we ended up plunking ourselves down into a centrally located neighbourhood that is the perfect mix of residential and amenities. When we decided to step away from our roommates and find a place of our own, we ended up in a one bedroom apartment just. around. the corner. Literally. We carried all of our posessions down the street.

I know when you're trying to find the perfect house, it's hard to even consider exactly where this ideal lot might be. Of course, good neighbourhoods mean different things to different people as well. I do not have a check list, but I do have the slightest bit of insight. Maybe my mom scowled at me when I told her what street I was going to live on, and maybe I gave up the chance to have a pool, but there's something really beautiful about feeling just as much like you're coming home when you step out of your apartment as when you step in.

***

I Notice:

-Are there trees? I know you think I’m going to tell you that trees are good for the environment, which they are. Maybe you think I will wane poetically about how they’re aesthetically glorious. Yes, trees are nature’s wall decals. However, what trees really contribute to a neighborhood is the sense of planning. Unless you’re living in coyote country, no tree goes up or stays up in even a smaller town without some kind of decision. A street lined with trees states that your municipal government at least kind of cares about where you live. I can assure you that a bunch of poplars did not just magically grow on their own. This was intentional, and that intent and zoning probably carries over into areas other than trees.

-Can you see bicycles? Between bikes & trees, I know I’m sounding a bit preachy, but hear me out. If you can see bicycles, everyone can. Of course, there is no neighborhood where a lock isn’t occasionally picked, but if it happened frequently enough, the bikes would start to be kept inside. Lots of bikes out? This must be a safe neighbourhood.

-Is there public transit? Even if the bus makes you hold your nose. Even if you never, ever take it. If there’s no bus, you won’t live a place worth going. Besides, you never know when your method of transportation decides it hates you that day.

-Where can I buy medicine at 3 am? Maybe you are more organized than me, and know to buy some hot lemon drink the second you start to get the sniffles, but I prefer to tell myself that they will go away and huddle under blankets until all of the coughing and sneezing is finally enough and I start crying at the wee hours of the morning. I am less than five minutes away from two 24 hour pharmacies, and they save my life all of the time. Of course, this also means I am less than five minutes away from 24 hour cupcakes... My willpower works in funny ways. 

-Are people buying up the entire block? This means it is an up and coming area and trendy things like organic restaurants and pricey sunglasses shops will come in soon. Maybe this will appeal to you. Keep it in mind. I currently live near a place that has beer league hockey and Marc Jacobs. Unfortunately, not in the same building. THAT would be a good neighbourhood! 

-How far am I away from everywhere I want to go? Sometimes people get too stuck on one event and then forgot to do others. I used to live on one of Halifax’s biggest streets, Spring Garden Road. I boozed and shopped and not much else. Being so close to just one of my hobbies made me neglect the others and overindulge. Now, I like living about 15 minutes away from everything. I have a better relationship with my parents because bussing is less aggravating, and I volunteer more because I am so close to nonprofits I care about. When you are used to not having to walk places, even a short jaunt can feel like an eternity away. Overindulgence is never a good thing.

Other things I like about my centrally located, more residential neighbourhood is how close it usually is to second hand things. There is a flea market across the street, and there is almost always a bookshelf for sale on Kijiji in walking distance. As if I would ever get a piece of furniture new, as if!

-Where can I go for a run? I’m not going to pretend that my behind looks very good in athletic shorts and go on expounding the value of exercise, but if you can’t mentally map out a route to run, then chances are the infrastructure is beyond repair, the area is uninspiring, or you do not feel safe where you are living. These are all bad things.

-How diverse is the neighbourhood? I mean, if you really want to be in a corner of a city surrounding your school that only has students, then good for you! Someone is always willing to do the liquor run! Likewise, if you feel the most comfortable around other people in similar socioeconomic positions, well, that is up to you. However, Luke goes to the basketball court that always has a multitude of races instead of some more, uh, less diverse courts in the city because he says the variety of backgrounds usually has a higher skill level and that ups his game. I just like living close to a place that sells salted cod ready to go. We all have our priorities...

-There is no greater indicator of culture than what’s posted on the phone polls in your area. Tidily typed school fundraisers? Hand drawn, rebellious, revolutionary pamphlets? Maybe they’re bare and staple free. Do not overlook this. Go out and read what's on the polls. It will probably tell you something about whether you'll like your neighbours. According to our phone poles, our neighbours like to booze and fall asleep in cabs and start revolutions and design sweet posters. I like your, neighbours, I like you. 

-Finally & quickly: If you are locked out & it is freezing, is there somewhere for you to go and read a magazine until you wait for everloving and excellent boyfriend to come home and save you from your hypothermic state? I read the new issue of Real Simple the other day... They recommended hiding an extra copy of your key outside your house. How clever some people are... Imagine that.

Oh well. Good excuse for a cupcake.